Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
