But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
