you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
