What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
