So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
