Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
