I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
false alarm, still single
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
