It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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