I CAN MOONWALK!
i love accidental penises.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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