you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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