I don't usually arrange sex via text message
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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