the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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