You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
