You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
