I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
