we're blogging at a bar
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
