i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
