Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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