cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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