The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
