brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
