Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
