no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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