guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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