i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need moral support for this bender
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
