They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
