Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
