2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
