omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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