Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
