We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
