Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
