so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
