It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
