jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
