There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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