nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
