these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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