you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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