Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
