We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
