Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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