So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
