Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize