really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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