Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
