At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Randomize