He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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