so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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