I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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