i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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