Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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