He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
