she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
