Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
