I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
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