Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
