I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
