I'm gonna have a badass scar
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize