But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
