I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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