did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
How does it feel to date your dad?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
