I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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