We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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