you turned your livingroom into a bong?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
