Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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